I Tried

Sometimes I wonder why I try
It's like I'm forcing myself not to think about you
when I know the thought of me hasn't crossed your mind.
How would you feel if I just called it off?
I'm loosely holding on to nothing
and lately I've been questioning your motives.
See I could give my all to you if you'd let me,
right now it feels like
all you want to do is forget me.
Forget me.
Come back when you're ready,
maybe by then I'll have realized that I don't need you.
My heart beat fine before you
it'll stay steady when I'm without you.
So let this be a lesson:
When you have something good,
don't let it get away.
Waiting for you to want me hurts the most,
hanging on when I know you've let go.
This rope dangles from nothingness
yet I continue ascending,
maybe it's just my way of pretending,
my way of protecting
this fragile heart that you so effortlessly rip apart.
You claimed we were moving too fast,
your first instinct was to step back,
away from me, away from this.
Every conversation is a fight
and I'm already shaking from the pounding of your gloves to my head;
I'm down for the count.
Couldn't last all 10 rounds
'cause the pain keeps building high enough to reach the ceiling,
relinquish this feeling.
I told you before that I'm not out to hurt you,
I'm just confused,
conflicted,
baby how the hell do I please you?
Let it go,
my conscience throbs as I throw
these thoughts of you to the back of my head
just so they're there,
I don't have to forget them yet.
If it's force you're feeling,
then you have a choice
and I do too.
I have a say,
and right now I'm not okay.
Could you please drop your pride
so I can pry my way into your mind,
I may not find
what I'm searching for,
but at least I tried.


~bk.35~





Currently listening to:
Breathe by Colbie Caillat