10.000 Miles Above

No one knows the way my eyes burn for you.
With the sight of an angel
too bright for these pupils
it's red, white,
can't see past you.
My mask
tattooed on my face
smile when I think of you
but the ink seeps through these pores
infects my brain
can't handle the nightmares
when the ugliness takes over
you're not with me
God damn you should be;
maybe it's my fault for loving you
from the follicles of your hair
to the edge of your toes,
I never loved another
quite this way,
if I could physically
rip out my heart
for you,
would that change your mind?
Or leave me lifeless
with a stagnant pulse,
I feel nothing
and everything
I walk in circles because I fear change
and I grasp this familiarity
like a line in a song
I repeat in my head
surrounded by words
I refuse to let in,
I write to release
because it's harder to look in your eyes
and say these things to you,
with words on paper I can hide behind the dark ink
so that you can't see my weaknesses
can't wipe my tears,
your touch makes this harder.
I want to live in a dream with you,
it's me against the world,
my world is you.
Conflicted
and these waves keep crashing
wash me up at shore,
you know me better than I do
my independence
held hostage
by an addiction to your attention
I crave you unknowingly,
set sail on your ship,
the one I thought would take me home
instead led me to you,
aching for your drug
I'm an addict for this high,
Hi, my name is _______.
forgot myself in the midst
of this misery,
how could something that gave me so much happiness
give me so much pain?
The answer lost
in the tears I cried
over you,
wear them on my face
sleeves dripping
like a prize
I was given
for allowing this addiction to overcome
me.


~bk.35~






Currently listening to:
Between the Bars by Elliott Smith