Shallow

I fell for who I wanted you to be
and I caught myself.
See it seems so stupid now,
broken promises sting me like a stolen heart
still plastered on these walls,
decorated so elegantly by your deceitful successes,
now I know how it feels to be alone,
and at least I have the loneliness to keep me warm at night.
See what we had,
it was a sequence of traps we laid out for each other,
and we took the plunge together.
Like two fools
who had never experienced passion
it was like diving head first into a pool of empty words,
nearly cracked my head on all the lies
scattered beneath the surface, SHALLOW.
as soon as we began learning each other’s tendencies
the end was approaching faster than I could scream “I LOVE YOU”.
See you begged me to trust you
and silly me to believe it.
I opened up slowly
like elevator doors,
you stepped in and pressed all my buttons,
I was stuck on you.
And maybe I should’ve followed the warning signs
rather than ignore each one as we fell another level,
my instincts weakened as you became my everything,
I trusted you.
With my whole heart,
I trusted you.
And you ask me why I’m closed off?
It’s girls like you, girls who ask for a taste
but can’t bear the sweetness,
the type who ache to try but never to buy
see I’m not saying I can be purchased,
but I’ve seen enough false advertisements
to know the difference between paper and plastic
and I may have fell victim to it once or twice before,
but it’s never been enough to stifle my vision
to blur the difference between fact and fiction.
and I can’t help but ask
if it was really you that I tasted on your lips.
And you let me blame myself.
How selfish is the word “LOVE”
when you used it to use me,
when you used it to abuse me,
not with fists but with lack of explanation
and meaningless conversation.
Couldn’t quite decipher what exactly I did wrong,
but months have passed ,
and you’ve already pushed me aside
ran back to the one
who caused each tear I brushed from your eyes,
It’s beyond the point of heartbreak.
See bold confessions leave lasting impressions,
and you’d think after enough times,
I would learn my lesson.
Your ability to let go so easily
made me wonder if you ever really felt a thing for me
in the first place.
All I have left to say to you is this,
never admit to the mistakes you’ve made in the past
if you intend to repeat them in the future.


~bk.35~





Currently listening to:
Edge of Desire by John Mayer