These Hands

The lines on my palms reveal a troubled past
filled with pain and disappointment,
I try to deny it but the truth is inevitable.
Lineaments creased within the trappings of this skin
my hands,
torn with tragedy and forged by torment.
From broken hearts to broken relationships
battered and broken and believe me
I never intended it to be this way.
And if I could change what I've been through,
I'm not sure I would
it's the tragic occurrences that have created these lines
they're beautiful to me,
each one tells a story.
And somehow,
they combine to craft a brand new ending,
one that no one has ever seen or heard before,
these lines are creative and innovative,
unbelievable
mysterious to the naked eye
but they scream so loudly
you can hear their shrills from the depths of my empty heart.
Each one holds a secret
a different chapter to my life.
My hands
strength mightier than a boulder
crushing through barriers,
adding more lines with each thrash,
pummeling,
destroying each obstacle before me.
Fear me
these cracks are real.
Your love was not,
the truth.
Remains in the palm of my hand,
you could once find me
in your palm
begging for your support
but you
so willingly
allowed me to fall through the cracks of your palms.

These creases increased.

Beware my eyes
for behind them is emptiness you cannot see
until you read the lines in my palms.
when my eyes are closed,
my heart is too,
once too willing to settle...
and your slave I am no longer.
These lines will never deepen for you again.
These hands are mine.


~bk.35~





Currently listening to:
Fortress by Pinback

10.000 Miles Above

No one knows the way my eyes burn for you.
With the sight of an angel
too bright for these pupils
it's red, white,
can't see past you.
My mask
tattooed on my face
smile when I think of you
but the ink seeps through these pores
infects my brain
can't handle the nightmares
when the ugliness takes over
you're not with me
God damn you should be;
maybe it's my fault for loving you
from the follicles of your hair
to the edge of your toes,
I never loved another
quite this way,
if I could physically
rip out my heart
for you,
would that change your mind?
Or leave me lifeless
with a stagnant pulse,
I feel nothing
and everything
I walk in circles because I fear change
and I grasp this familiarity
like a line in a song
I repeat in my head
surrounded by words
I refuse to let in,
I write to release
because it's harder to look in your eyes
and say these things to you,
with words on paper I can hide behind the dark ink
so that you can't see my weaknesses
can't wipe my tears,
your touch makes this harder.
I want to live in a dream with you,
it's me against the world,
my world is you.
Conflicted
and these waves keep crashing
wash me up at shore,
you know me better than I do
my independence
held hostage
by an addiction to your attention
I crave you unknowingly,
set sail on your ship,
the one I thought would take me home
instead led me to you,
aching for your drug
I'm an addict for this high,
Hi, my name is _______.
forgot myself in the midst
of this misery,
how could something that gave me so much happiness
give me so much pain?
The answer lost
in the tears I cried
over you,
wear them on my face
sleeves dripping
like a prize
I was given
for allowing this addiction to overcome
me.


~bk.35~






Currently listening to:
Between the Bars by Elliott Smith